Unhappy and Happy

I had never thought that a person could be unhappy and happy at the same time. Today I was speaking to a very good friend of ours who is going through a very traumatic experience in his marriage. It was about ten years ago that his wife begin to show signs of alzheimers.  Two years ago he had to place her in a nursing home.

They were both in their early fifties when she began to show the first signs of this dreaded disease. He was very supportive and had to quit his job to give her support. This caused financial strain and it became more difficult when he placed her in a nursing home. She has not shown any recognition of him for the past number of months.

He decided to move, a few thousand miles away, in order to get a job and be near their children. Every four to six weeks he takes a flight home to spend a few days visiting his wife. He is what I would call a broken man. Broken, mentally, spiritually and physically.

Today I took him to the airport and I made the statement..”you are unhappy and happy.” He said, “you could say it that way.”

Since moving away he has moved in with another woman. I can’t judge his decision as I know he needs someone to love him.

As a Christian, I believe in the marriage vows but I also recognize the evil that sin can have in a person’s life. If a person loses sight of God’s love and grace, that is available in Jesus, he leaves himself open to the ravages of sin. This has happened to my friend. It started with the blame game. Blaming God for what happened to his wife, his friends, relatives and pastors for not being there for them. He became blind to those who wanted to help. Yes, we didn’t know how to deal with this sickness. It would have been much easier to give support if it were a cancer or some other life threatening illness.

He didn’t ask for help and we as his family and friends felt that he was shutting us out. I admit my failure! He turned his back on the one friend who promised to be with us under every circumstance of living… Jesus.

I have prayed with him and for him and today I prayed again that God would restore him. Also, I believe that God can restore his wife to health. There is nothing impossible for God.

You will notice that,I have quoted no scripture, in this post. I recognize that many reading, this post, will have references from scripture flooding your mind.

Would you pray for my friend that God would somehow minister to him, in his brokenness, and bring peace joy and happiness to his life. Pray for his wife as you feel led by God’s spirit.

Thank you for reading this post. It is appreciated. May you be blessed in your Christian walk.

Can You Forgive

This is a quote from, Mark Banschick M.D. “As long as there are relationships, there will be a need for forgiveness.”
Jesus said “If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done.” -Matthew 6.14-15

I have proven many times, in my own life, that there is healing in forgiveness. Most times I have not been able to forget about the hurt or pain, however; the conscious act of forgiving has brought healing to my spirit. It has given me peace.

We have all been hurt by another person or person’s or we ourselves have been the one who caused the pain and suffering to another. My dad was a good provider but a very poor father figure. He was a heavy drinker and a womanizer. He caused a lot of pain to our mom and we as children, carried a ton of unwanted baggage then and into adulthood.

We hid behind doors and tried to protect ourselves, from the verbal abuse as our parents fought a war of words. There were horrible words and accusations flying within our home. We did not receive physical suffering but mental.

I had to accept the fact that my dad was a broken human being and had broken the spirit of our mom. It was not easy to forgive, however as a teenager I made a conscious decision not to become the person that my father was. I did not recognize then but somehow I had to forgive my father in order to began a healing in my own life.

I became a Born Again Christian when I was twenty-three and had been married for about a year. The act of seeking God’s forgiveness, through Jesus, not only brought healing to my soul but peace to my heart. It was the beginning of a life long journey of forgiving and being forgiven. I recognized the power of forgiveness.

Yes, I still recall the pain and suffering of my childhood but it is a memory that doesn’t affect me mentally or emotionally. I forgave my father and the woman who was the mother of two of his children. I have never met her but I have met my two half- sisters. This was a once and only meeting. They were not responsible for the actions of my father but the result.

I’m so thankful to God because he initiated forgiveness and knew that we needed to forgive or to be forgiven to have a healthy relationship with Him and with others.

You Don’t Listen To Me

Was I shocked. when my wife said “you don’t listen to me.” I became a little defensive because I felt the words were untrue and I had always thought that I was a good listener. Over the next few days I made it a point to be more tuned into her comments and our conversations.

But it got me seriously thinking about my Christian walk and how I listen to God speaking to me. Do I really listen?

I have been a follower of Jesus for over forty five years. He has spoken to me through the bible, through prayer, my wife, my friends, through good and bad circumstances and what we call that still small voice. There have been times in my life when my spirit was in tune with God and  I listened for him to minister to me. However, sad to say there have been more times where I have rushed prayer, bible reading, tuning out bible messages and really not listening to God.

I can envision God saying to me “Steve, you don’t listen to me.” Jesus said  in John 10: 27,28  My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

Am I listening?

A work in progress